Betraying a lover
by rain angst
Summary: Is kind of a spin-off from 'loving a murderer.' It is told from Raito's pov. "L would of chosen his own justice over Raito, and that is why Raito chose Kira over L." L/Raito pairing.


Disclamier- Don't own death note, and I think I will stop doing these for the fact it is annoying, and I am not taking any credit for the characters

Disclaimer- Don't own death note, and I think I will stop doing these for the fact it is annoying, and I am not taking any credit for the characters or story.

I did one for L, and wanted to do one for Raito as well. I used 50 words from my head, because writing Raito was easier than L for some reason. There will be yaoi scenes, so don't like don't read. Does slightly differ from the series, but I think it is still good. Have spoilers up to the last episode of the series. Just to warn you in advance, but hope you all still read it. Hope you all enjoy it.

**Rotten**

Humanity could not see the world for what it truly was, but Raito could. The world is rotting, and no one was trying to stop it. 

**Coincidence**

Raito did not believe in coincidence. He believed God was allowing him to fix the rotting world, once he got the death note. That all changed once he meet Ryuuk and the shinigami told him it was nothing more than just a coincidence. 

**Kira**

Raito knew he was the only one who could handle the power of the death note. And if that meant sinking down to a murderer's level, and giving up his own humanity he would do so. He would become Kira, and create his ideal world. 

**Enemy**

The Lind L. Taylor stunt had made Raito met his first true enemy, and he would make sure that all his enemies were defeated by the righteous hand of Kira. 

**Sacrifices**

If Raito was going to create a better world sacrifices were needed in order to accomplish it. He just hadn't thought he would have to kill twelve FBI agents so early on.

**Deter**

Raito found it easy to slip into character of a normal teenager when he knew he was being watched by cameras. If L thought this would deter Ratio from using the death note L was wrong. 

**Connection**

The first time Raito had seen L he had not know it was the detective. But once there eyes had connected, in the exam room, Raito knew that somehow their lives would become intertwined. 

**Shock**

Raito had never thought L would admit his identity in such a public place; especially at a To-oh introductory ceremony. And covering his shock had been harder then he thought it would be. 

**Anger**

As soon as Raito got home and was locked safely in his room he snapped, and threw a tantrum like a child would when they did not get there way. 

**Competition **

It was only a friendly game of tennis, but it was also a game of battling minds. And Raito made sure to win this game, and many more in the future against L.

**Trick**

L had tricked Raito into raising L's percentage of him being Kira. But Raito would make sure it was just suspicion and not evidence that was held against him. 

**Concern**

When Raito's mother had called him to tell him that his father had had a heart attack, and Raito had truly been concerned. 

**Confirm**

His father had told him that the man sitting next to Raito was truly L, and Raito confirmed it to himself that he was truly sitting next to his greatest enemy. 

**Tainting **

There was another Kira now and Raito truly disliked the person. Mainly because the person was tainting the image of Kira, and Raito did not appreciate Kira's name being associated with innocent people. 

**Meetings **

When Raito first met Misa he knew right away, he would never care for her. 

**Use**

At first Raito had never approved of the idea of using someone. But to get ahead he would have to, and if nothing else Misa was useful because she had the shinigami eyes. 

**Chance**

Raito was surprised when he saw L sitting on a bench reading a book at To-oh. The detective no longer came to school because its purpose had been served. They talked and Misa appeared. Raito kept a smirk of victory off his face, since he knew it was his chance to learn L's real name. 

**Cornered**

Raito was now cornered. L had arrested Misa for suspicion of being the second Kira, and Raito had to save her or Rem would kill him. 

**Confinement **

It had been Raito's choice to be confined, but L didn't have to make it so uncomfortable with the arm bonds. 

**Fear**

Raito had never feared his father before. But when his father put a gun to his head and said he was going to shoot Raito then himself, it was at that moment that Raito felt an icy terror run through his blood. And at that moment he truly feared his father would kill them both. 

**Relief**

He had never been so relived in his life when Raito learned the gun was a blank, and all it had been was another test from L.

**Chain**

When L had said that he and Raito would be together 24/7 Raito had not envisioned a six foot long chain. But he really didn't have any complaints. 

**Gaps**

There were gaps in Raito's memory. He couldn't remember what he had been thinking on a number of occasions, and why he spent so much time locked away in his room when he knew he was not studying. He would not tell L, since the detective would just raise the percentage of him being Kira. 

**Surprise**

Raito had stolen a piece of L's cheesecake purely out of boredom, and was surprised when he felt L's smooth lips against his own. 

S**ubmissive **

Raito never thought he would agree to be on bottom, but L had a very convincing mouth. 

**Thought**

Chocolate syrup was truly a great invention, Raito thought as the world's three greatest detectives licked it of Raito's penis from base to tip. And then L took the full length of Raito penis into his mouth, and Raito lost all coherent thought. 

**Moan**

Raito had never figured himself to be a person who moaned loudly during sex. But when L kept hitting Raito prostrate over and over again. His moans just kept coming out louder each time. The only time they sounded low is when L was kissing him on the lips. 

**Love **

He had never believed in love. To him it was just an emotion people used as an excuse to be selfish. But Raito reconsidered the idea whenever he saw L give him a genuine smile of happiness that was only ever aimed at Raito.

**Heartbeat **

Every night before Raito would go to sleep he would place his head on L's chest and listen to L's steady heartbeat, which would lull Raito to sleep in minutes. 

**Secret **

The main reason L and Raito never told anyone the nature of their relationship is not because they feared the disapproval of the task force, but rather they did not want to have to deal with an anger sad Misa for who knows how long. 

**Believe**

Raito did not believe that his father was oblivious to the relationship he had with L. By Soichiro saying nothing Raito liked to believe it was his fathers' way of approving Raito's and L's relationship. 

**Showers**

Of all the different places Raito had sex with L, his favorite was the shower. It was a good way to have sex up against the wall, and have Raito trying to figure out how L could lift and thrust at the same time. But after sex in the shower, it was a much quicker way to get rid of the semen, and going back to bed. This way the two did not have to be worried about being sticky in the morning. 

**Closer**

The Yotsuba investigation was coming to a close, and both Raito and L felt that the first Kira was closer to reappearing again. 

**Endings**

Before Raito had entered the helicopter he turned to L and kissed him passionately. When Raito pulled away he locked eyes with L and could tell that L had felt it to. That something important was ending soon between the two to them. 

**Clarity **

As soon as Raito touched the death note all the gaps in his memories returned, and with crystal clarity Raito remembered the task of being Kira again. 

**Telling**

That night, as L and Raito were sitting back in L's bedroom, Raito pulled L closer and kissed him again. He moved to L's right ear and whispered softly 'I love you' before pulling away gently and heard L mumble 'love you to'. 

**Wondered**

Neither said anything else for the rest of the night and Raito placed his ear against L's heart again, and wondered if it would be the last time he ever heard it. 

**Change**

Raito no longer had the desire to kill L. It had disappeared like a flame being smothered in water.

**Decisions **

It would be today, that Raito would allow L, and his love for the detective to die.

**Bells**

L said he heard bells, and Raito wondered if L knew that today the three greatest detectives in the world would die. 

**Goodbye**

Raito didn't know why, but as L fell out of his swirl chair Raito decided he wanted to hold L as the detective was dying. Not as Kira, but as a person who was saying goodbye to a lover. Even through Kira's smile curled on Raito lips he wanted to let L knew that the detective had been right all along. 

**Justice**

Raito and L's idea of Justice differed greatly, and Raito knew that L would have chosen his own justice over Raito. And that is why Raito had chosen his own justice over L. 

**Endure**

He needed Misa in order to become God of the new world. And he was enduring her presence, for the sake of humanity. 

**Regret**

There were times, late at night, when Raito could not fall asleep. And even through he did not like the idea of regretting an action that would help him become God of the new world, he couldn't help but feel regret about L's death.

**Acting**

It was so easy to put on a different persona. Raito could utter a few words and look sincere and the person would be ensnared. It was so easy to pretend he cared about other people and knew no one could see through the perfect act. 

**Admire **

Raito had truly admired his father. It was his father who had given Raito his strong sense of justice. But that was all he really felt for his father, just admiration. 

**Followers **

Followers were truly great and were quite helpful to Kira's cause. They only became a problem when they unintentionally screwed Raito over. 

**Possession **

When Raito was in the warehouse he no longer felt like he had full control of his body and as he was laughing and admitting to everyone in the room he was Kira. Raito couldn't help but feel like Kira was a separate entity, and was just possessing Raito to accomplish their shared dream of a better world.

**Last**

L's hand was touching Raito's, and Raito made sure to keep eye connect with L the whole time. For if he was truly going to Mu the last thing he wanted to see was L's face. 

**Payback **

Raito was confused when he reawake and was not in Mu. Instead he could feel L's hand grasping his own hand tightly, and see the small smile that was etched on L's face, and mirrored Raito's own face. L had gotten him out of Mu, and Raito intended to pay L back for doing such a generous thing. 

End

So how was it? I hope everyone enjoyed it. I personally think that even through Raito does care for his family that it is a detached feeling. That is why with Admire I tried to incorporate that idea. Also with possession I believe that Kira is a separate entity from Raito himself. There are quite a few differences with Raito's personality when he is working for L and when he is Kira. Also hope that all of the words I used fit into the sentences I used for them. 

I am not completely sure I did the last part right, since I have only seen about two and half episodes that have not been aired on adult swim yet. So if any of them are screwed up, my bad.

Please, please review I would really be thankful to everyone who does. 

Rain angst


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